i don’t write for a male audience. or a female audience. or any fucking audience. frankly, i could not care less if you (or anyone else) respects me. and i would hope your (potential) daughter and my daughter wouldn’t give a fuck either. because if you’re writing something in order to earn the respect of a gender (or of one person), you’re probably going to be writing pretty boring, bland shit.
it’s interesting, however, that you say you’re interested in respecting women (and women writers) and then use a word like “icky” in response to it or the way it makes you feel or the way you think it will make someone else feel. (can you imagine publicly responding in a similar way to “gay” or “homosexual” writing?)
it’s of no surprise, however, that you seem completely up academia’s ass. most people who write “safe” “uninteresting” fiction, etc., are.